Amused Agitation
by Noevelle3
Summary: Kate's secret has come out, Rick's acting a bit cocky, and it isn't helping that they have a case, where she has to work with Detective Slaughter, who she isn't very fond with. Based on the new episodes that haven't come out yet.Spoilery from paleyfest
1. Chapter 1

It's been two days since Rick has been in the precinct, since their recent fight that broke out, how Kate had lied to him about forgetting everything from Montgomery's funeral. It ended with both of them being furious at each other. Rick stormed out of her apartment, seeming as if never to talk to her again.

That is why Kate was so surprised when she spotted him making his way towards her desk while she was doing paper work from a case they just closed.

She did a double take not believing her eyes when she saw him strutting in with a cocky smile on his face and four coffees in his hand on a brown cardboard costar.

She sat there with the most confused look on her face, she didn't know why he seemed to look so happy? Or was he just trying to make her angry. Before she could think of anything to say, he set the coffee down on her desk.

"Detective" he said with a nod of his head as his hello, and walked past her to drop the other two cups of steaming substance off to Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan.

"Hey bro" Espo said a little confused, noticing the kind jester of coffee he just gave to him and his partner. Ryan looked just as puzzled.

"Ummm.. Castle did you do something?" Ryan asked a little suspicious to why he was doing what he was doing.

Rick just shrugged and shook his head "No just thought I should do something nice for you guys, I mean I never bring you guys coffee?" He said comely.

Esposito was still a little iffy about the jester, but decided against his better judgment and just went with it.

"I guess you're right…Thanks." Espo took a sip from his coffee and satisfyingly smiled.

"You should bring us coffee more often, bro" He joked to Castle.

Ryan butted in "Yeah for real, this is delicious." he said after taking another sip of his warming drink.

"Any time fellas" ,Rick joked with them a little more, then decided it was time to go back to her, he took a deep breath before heading back to Kate's desk.

Kate felt the wind that swept past her face, the scent of his cologne breaking through the air, as he sat down in his normal seat on the side of her desk. She closed her eyes for a moment before She stopped writing, turned her head to him then sat up straight in her chair, intertwining her fingers together, as if to interrogate one of her suspects.

"Castle, what are you doing here?" Her eyes focusing on his.

He didn't seem to mind at all that she was giving him one of her deadly stare downs, no, to her surprise he didn't even seem to notice her body language.

"Eh, I figure might as well come in today, take a break from writing non stop these past few days."

Before Kate could say any more, Espo called for her.

"Yo! We got a body." He said picking up his jacket heading towards the elevator, Ryan right behind him.

Kate looked back at Rick knowing she couldn't finish her questioning any longer, she rolled her eyes in annoyance and turned to grab her leather jacket.

"I'm coming with, by the way." Castle said, a little too amused for Beckett's liking.

"Fine, what ever." She snapped back and walked to the elevator, not waiting for Rick, to see if he was behind her or not.

He was of course not surprising, even after the two day absence.

When they made it to the crime scene, a lot more commotion then normal was going on. Beckett walked up to Esposito and Ryan.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked annoyed with all of the people walking in and out of the crime scene. Plus the fact that Castle was right by her side acting as if nothing had happened between them only two days before.

Before either of the detectives could answer, Kate saw a shadow drape over her. Knowing it wasn't Castle because he was to the side of her; she turned around and a huge man with dark brown hair was standing behind her.

"I'm guessing you're Detective Kate Beckett?" He said putting his hand out.

Kate looked at him with an eye brow of confusion raised,

"Yes, and might I ask who you are?" she said looking from his hand to his face.

"I'm Detective Slaughter, I'll be working on this case with you." He said his hand still out for her to shake.

Kate hesitated a minute before putting her hand out to reach for his for a hand shake. Why the hell was he helping with this case?

"Is there any reason in specific, as to why you're helping with this case?" she asked after finally shaking his strong, rough hand.

"The man who was murdered in that room" He pointed of to the crowded room. "is my old partner, and I would like to figure out who the son of a bitch is who done this to him." He said a tint of anger in his voice.

Kate couldn't really be mad at the guy for wanting to help out on the case after hearing that, even if he seemed like a complete cocky hard ass.

"Alright, I'll let you help on the case. After all if that was my partner in there I would want to investigate it myself as well." She wanted to look at Castle, but couldn't find it in herself to bring her eyes to meet his at that moment.

"Just on one condition, we do it my way" She said, making sure she was keeping control of the situation.

"Uh, I don't think so sweet heart. He's my partner, we're doing it my way." He said with an attitude, but a smart ass smirk creeped across his face. He walked past Beckett and Castle, before she could object to what he had just said.

Rick looked amused, knowing that Kate was pissed.

Kate saw the grin on his face.

"Wipe that look off your face, before I do it myself." She growled at him.

"Hey it's not my fault, not everything goes the way you want." He said with more meaning than just the case. He made his way into the room where the body was.

Kate was fuming. 'This is going to be a long case' She thought to herself before stepping into the room, to observe the corpse.

**Okay so, This is what I'm picturing is kind of going to happen when the Detective Slaughter comes onto Castle for a little. Something like this is going to go down, btw Obviously I am not finished with this, but I hope you're enjoying it. Keep on reading! And Review please! :D thanks**


	2. Chapter 2

"So what do we have." Kate asked the ME, who is also her best friend. Lanie the ME heard the pinch of irritation in Kate's voice. She didn't even have time to answer her question, because before she could even open her mouth, the bad ass detective, (detective Slaughter) cut her off.

"Male 'Clearly' White, 37 years of age and about I'd have to say about 6'1, His name was Detective Broily, full name Fred Broily." Detective Slaughter said looking down at his ex partner.

Lanie raised an eye brow at him, as if looks could kill.

"As I was going to say" She made sure she was heard by the detective, showing how she was rudely interrupted.

"It seems to me, that he took one hell of a beating." She said pointing with her pen, at the body's disoriented face below her, Broily's face had terrible gashes and bruises all over.

"I don't know what it was that actually killed him though, I'll have to get him down the morgue, see what I find once I get to see everything." Lanie said, looking to see if any blood was seeping through his shirt.

"Time of death?" Castle asked, completely side tracking Kate's concentration on the body, causing her eyes to look up to his face. He faced her as well, his eyes dancing with amusement. She rolled her eyes and turned her head back to the body. That eye roll didn't go missed by Lanie.

"I'd have to say around 2 to 3 o'clock, this morning" Lanie answered, giving Kate a questioning look. Kate gave her back a look saying 'not now, I'll tell you later'.

Lanie just shook her head and went back to explaining what she's found on the body so far.

"Looking at his condition, I'd have to say who ever did this to him, tortured him as well." She raised her eye brows, pointing her pen to his hands.

"As you can see here, they broke every finger, on each hand" She gave a look of pain to Detective Slaughter, knowing this is probably hard for him to listen to.

"Sons of bitch's" Slaughter huffed under his breath.

"Do you have any idea, who would have done this to him, Detective Slaughter?" Kate asked, not bothering to pay any attention to the fact that, Castle had his eyes set on her.

Slaughter let out a cold laugh "He's no angel detective, I'll tell you that right now." He seemed to be in deep thought, before continuing.

"I have a few people in mind, lets just say that." He said before storming out of the room, his phone glued to his ear, already barking orders into it.

Kate watched him make his way out of the crime scene.

"Well isn't he just a ray of sunshine" Lanie said with a raised eye brow, sarcasm seeping through her words.

"I mean I know it's his partner and all, but jeez, the least the guy can do is show some sympathy." She let out a breath before getting to her feet.

"Yeah well, aren't we the lucky ones who get to deal with him" Kate said to Lanie, annoyance and sarcasm coming out of her.

"Yeah tell me about it, you should have heard that jack hole when I first walked in here" Ryan said shaking his head in disbelief.

"I can only imagine" Kate said, walking towards the exit of the room. Castle following behind her.

Before Beckett completely exited the crime scene, she told Espo and Ryan to question everyone in the apartment building to see if they've heard any noises, or scene any suspicious behavior throughout the night.

"On it, boss" Esposito said nudging Ryan's arm to head out.

Kate could feel the tension building up in the car between her and Rick on the way back to the precinct.

"Okay Castle, spill it, why are you really here?" She finally said, breaking the silence.

"You seem to be in a GREAT mood today, detective" Castle said in the most sarcastic way manageable.

"Castle!" She demanded.

"Okay look…" He was cut off though by her phone ringing. She hesitated a moment before answering, still interested in what Castle was about to say.

"Beckett." She finally said, leaving Rick there to think about what he was going to say, but when she got off the phone, which seemed to be with either Esposito or Ryan, she seemed to have completely forgot about the fact that they were just about to get into serious territory again, with the start of their conversation.

"Look Castle…we'll talk about this later." She said realizing right now wasn't the best time for them to start having a yelling match with each other again.

"Espo just told me that Slaughter is turning the precinct into his own, which isn't going to slide with me so…" she took a breath, turning the wheel of the car to come into the parking lot of the 12th.

"Can we finish this conversation some other time?"

Rick wasn't pleased with the fact that she was right, that right now wasn't the best time for such a 'talk', so he just nodded in agreement as he undid his seatbelt to exit the car.

**Okay so I decided to pull an all nighter, and thought what better time than to write? Lol I am so tired, this was a terrible idea, I have to wake up in an hour anyway so might as well stay up! Nothing like school, YAY! Well, hope this chapter wasn't complete crap. :D enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

When they stepped foot into the precinct, the place was going hay wire. People running in and out of the fax room, a crowd of detective and cops circling the center of the room, seeming to be listening to someone talk. Kate assumed it would be Captain Gate's, but then when Castle and her turned the corner to get a better look, Detective Slaughter was yapping out orders.

Castle could see the tension set on Kate's face, her jaw line showing perfectly, because of how clenched it was together. It looked as if pliers wouldn't even be able to ply her mouth open.

"Look's like someone else is running the show for once." He said while passing her, not letting her get any comment out, that he knew she so badly wanted to do.

No instead of standing there and getting attitude from her, he decided to just walk past her and see what all the commotion was.

'_So what if I'm being an arrogant ass, she disserves it…right?'_ He thought to himself, while walking up to Esposito and Ryan.

Kate glared at Castle, as he walked up to her friends, _their _friends. Kate was really getting pissed off about how Castle was acting around her, sure he had the right to be angry with her, but no need to act like a complete jack ass.

" Okay what's going on here?" She finally said, going back into bad ass detective mode Beckett, instead of sensitive, frustrated Kate.

"I already told you Detective, this is my case" Slaughter said stern and ready to fight, if she was to argue.

"I call the shots, that's, that." He let out, after a smug grin played upon his lips.

"I think you're forgetting the fact that, this is MY precinct, there for, this is MY case." She said, definitely not backing down, with out a fight.

Slaughter gave her a laugh

"That's where you're wrong Detective, I've already talked to Gate's. Why don't you go ask your Captain if you're still in charge" He had an eye brow raised, knowing he's won this battle.

Kate stomped off into the Captains office, not standing for this one more minute.

"Detective Beckett, can I help you with something?." The Captain questioned her, with her glasses tilted a little on the bridge of her nose, her eyes looking up from her papers, both eye brows raised. She noticed Beckett's abrupt entrance, obviously noticing the fact that she was fuming with anger.

"Sir, with all do respect this is my part of the station, and I don't appreciate Detective Slaughter, thinking he can just walk in here, trying to take over this case!" Kate was pacing back and fourth, trying to compose some of her anger, not wanting the Captain to snap on her as well.

"Seems to me Detective, he already is taking over" Gate's said already getting back to paper work, not minding the fact that Beckett was livid with anger.

"Sir, this is MY department!" Kate yelled out, not able to contain the rage that was within her voice.

"Detective I don't know Who you think you're talking to, but you better believe, it sure as hell isn't me!" Gate's shouted at her.

"You have a problem with how things are running around here with Detective Slaughter, you go take it up with him, I **will not **be talked down to by one of my own, now get back to work!" She barked at Kate, pointing her finger to the door to her office, forcing her exit.

"Yes, sir" Kate huffed under her breath, storming out of her office, jetting to the women's restroom to cool off.

Castle witnessed the whole thing play out, he let out a laugh.

"Boy is Beckett pissed." He said to Espo and Ryan, who were also watching as Kate flew past their vision to the bathrooms.

"I Haven't seen her this mad in a long time" Ryan said taking a swig of his coffee.

"Yeah bro, she just snapped on Iron Gate's" Esposito said, looking back at Gate's office.

"Oh you'd be surprised." Castle said thinking back to the fight him and Kate had, only two nights before.

"What?" Esposito said confused.

"Nothing" Castle shot back, realizing what he had just said.

Esposito and Ryan just gave him a bewildered look. Detective Slaughter made his way towards them.

"Hey boy's, did you find anything with questioning the neighbors?" Slaughter said, in the process, bumping Castle out of the circle that they had made.

Castle gave him a look, Esposito and Ryan held back from smiling at the fact that Castle didn't even do anything about it.

"One of the ladies in room" Ryan looked at his note pad searching for the number.

"103, said she heard some yelling at about 1:40 in the morning, said she woke up from it, seemed to be a pretty violent fight." He said putting his note pad back in his jacket pocket.

"And she didn't think to call the police?" Slaughter shook his head in disbelief.

"She said it was non of her business, didn't want to cause a scene." Esposito butted in, trying to help his partner out.

At that time Kate was making her way back from the bathroom, her anger seemed to have faded away. That is until she saw Slaughter talking with her team. Her phone rang, interrupting her pugnacious thoughts, of wanting to rip Slaughters head off.

"Beckett" She answered quick and cold.

"Damn girl, what's got your panties in a bunch." Lanie questioned, feeling the anger through the phone.

Beckett ignored her question, as usual and stuck to getting her mind off everything that was bothering her.

"Did you find something?"

"Yeah, you're going to want to see this" Lanie said, an eager tint to her voice.

"On my way down." Kate hung up the phone before Lanie could say anymore.

Castle watched as Kate made her way to the elevator, guessing by the phone call that Lanie must have called. He would sit this one out, not wanting to deal with Kate, plus, he was rather enjoying the new detective, although he was kind of a jerk to Castle. He found him interesting, maybe interesting enough to put him in one of his books. '_Kick ass Detective plays by his own rules.'_ He thought to himself, while seeing everyone disjoin the little circle.

He heard Slaughter saying how he was going to go solo on some of his investigation, watching him make his way to the elevator. Castle jogged after him, reaching out for his shoulder to stop him.

"Hold on! Can I come along with you" Castle said a bit too excited.

"Wow hold on there buddy" Slaughter said turning towards Castle taking his hand off his shoulder.

"Why in gods name would I let YOU tag along with me?" He asked as if it was a complete joke that Rick even thought he could come along with him, on his investigation.

"Well I'm a mystery/crime writer, so I figure I see what it's like to work with another kind of detective." He said trying not to sound too pathetic.

Slaughter gave him a questioning look.

"I see, well I'll tell you this right now, the way I do my job isn't Rainbows and pony's, like your friend Beckett, so I can't have you acting like a little fairy, if things get ugly." He said in the most offensive way possible.

Castle didn't let it faze him though, he was pretty used to being insulted, considering the part that he did have Beckett as his partner.

"I'm fine with that, and FYI, I can handle my own." He said trying to act manlier then he obviously was.

"Right…" Slaughter said, not at all convinced; but still let Castle come with him.

Esposito and Ryan saw everything that had just went down, as they were getting their things to leave.

"Beckett is NOT going to be happy about this" Esposito said worried for Castle's sake.

"Yeah, she's going to kill Castle" Ryan laughed out, and he pulled on his jacket.

"Let's just get this case over with before Beckett kill's all of us." Esposito joked, as they made their way to the elevator.

**Okay so I'm really trying to stick with how the Characters are, am I getting them down alright? It's so hard competing with the wonderful writer's of the show, they're all so smart. I can't wait for the new episodes, anyway I really hope you're enjoying this story. Review please, I'd really like to know your thoughts!**


	4. Chapter 4

"So what did you find?" Beckett said, walking into the morgue.

"Not so fast!" Lanie startled Kate, before she could come any closer to the body.

"First tell me what's going on with you and writer boy?"

Lanie always knew how to get what she wanted out of Kate, whether she realized it or not, but Kate was going to try and keep her mouth shut, not revealing anything.

Plus was a little taken back by the fact that Lanie had just upfront and asked her, considering the fact that they haven't really talked (girl to girl) in god only knows how long.

"Lanie I have no idea what your-"

"GIRL! Don't make me slap you!" Lanie snapped at her, before Kate could finish her sentence.

"Lanie, nothing is going on." Kate tried her best to sound convincing, her 'acting' skills not working so well as usual though.

"Oh please! Kate I could have slit a knife threw the air, with the amount of tension that was between you two this morning." She motioned her hand to look like she was chopping at something.

"Really, it's nothing." Kate tried to assure her.

"Really? Because I saw that eye roll and THAT, was definitely not nothing" The ME said raising her eye brow at her, with her arms crossed.

Kate let out a breath, and did her famous eye roll, running a hand through her ruffled hair.

"Alright fine, we had a fight the other night." She said in defeat.

"I knew it!" Lanie felt so proud of herself, she hasn't been able to get anything out of Kate in almost a year.

"Well what were you two fighting about anyway?" Lanie said as she put on her clear glasses, handing a pair to Beckett in the process.

"Don't worry about it, anyway, what is it that you wanted to-" Kate wanted to just get off the topic of her and Castle at the moment, not wanting to think about how bad the fight really was, how she knew she could have said more **still** needs to say more, but just let him leave instead; her best friend obviously had other plans.

"Nuh uh, we are finishing this conversation! You never tell me anything anymore, you basically pushed away our friend ship Kate."

Beckett was shocked Lanie had said that. She knew the time would come that she would have to finally apologize to her about the three month absence, with hardly any phone calls in the time period. She knew the ME was hurt by her actions, hell she was hurt as well, she never wanted to drift apart from her best friend. In fact those three months after her shooting she needed Lanie most of all, she needed a lot of people that she had pushed away; but she had also needed space, she didn't want her best friend to see her like some type of fragile being. She couldn't run away for ever though, so she started with the apology that she had been hiding from since she had returned back to the precinct.

"Lanie I'm so sorry" Kate could feel a little lump of grief growing in the back of her throat.

"I never meant to take advantage of our friendship, I haven't been fair, not to you, not to anyone."

She was so pissed at herself, why did she have to be such a coward on something's why couldn't she had just told Lanie earlier that she was sorry. To Kate's surprise she could feel Lanie's arms wrapping around her, giving her that extra motivation and comfort she needed. Kate hugged her back, they've needed this, she could feel the flame to their friendship rekindling right in that embrace.

"Your gunna' make me cry girl!" Lanie joked, lightening the mood.

They both laughed, their eyes just a tad glossy from the forming tears. No water dropped from their lids though, as they broke apart from the hug.

"I know how hard it is for you to say how you feel, that means a lot to me Kate" Lanie said, sincerity shinning from her voice and smile.

"I know, sorry for being such a shelled in person all the time." Kate said with a smile, so glad to feel the relief of finally over coming this part of their friendship.

'_if only I could do this with Rick' _Kate thought to herself, frustrated about how they were going about things with their 'relationship' there was still a terrible weight on her shoulders, on how they're acting towards each other, still unfinished business she need to take care of soon, before he leaves for good.

"We don't have to talk about you and writer boy, if you don't want to." Lanie finally suggested realizing how deep in thought Kate seemed to be.

Kate was done cowering away though, so she did what she never does, she began to speak her mind, her true feelings.

"No, no!" She noticed how eager she must have sounded because she turned her volume down a notch. She cleared her throat.

"I mean.. I'm fine with talking about it, if you're interested."

Lanie was beaming with excitement, of course she is interested, Kate never lets out anything that is going on with her and Castle.

"Um duh Kate, come on now, you know me!" Lanie joked, waiting for Kate to begin the gossip…

Slaughter just pulled up to the destination, which seemed to be some type of old run down bar, where punks hung out.

"What are we doing here?" Castle questioned, taking in his surroundings, something he couldn't help, just the writer in him, it just came natural.

"Just here to have a chat with some old friends." Slaughter said turning off the car, checking his watch for the time.

Castle was a little concerned for his safety, he's never been in this part of town, maybe once when he was under cover with Beckett to look into some gang violence, but never again after that.

"Should I stay in the car?" Castle said, trying to keep his voice from rising.

"Why Ricky boy, you scared?" He laughed at Castle stepping out of the car, leaving Castle to feel a little offended.

"No, no, just didn't know if you would mind me coming in with you, that's all" He said trying to sound as masculine as possible. Opening up the door to get out of the car himself.

"Just don't say anything alright?" Slaughter said his eyes set on Castle's "I don't need you messing things up, K?" He said astringently.

"Yeah got it" Castle said, getting a little annoyed with how he was treating him, like how Beckett had treated him when he first started shadowing her, but it was different with Beckett he liked Beckett, he was attracted to her, and enjoyed getting on her nerves. With Slaughter though it just made him seem like a prick. Rick brushed it off though, not making a mountain out of a ant hill.

"Now before we go in there, I want you to know these guys don't take shit from anybody, so don't piss them off." Slaughter warned him before walking into the crappy bar.

"I'll be fine" Castle tried to reassure himself, more than Slaughter.

Castle secretly wished Kate was there with him, just to know that he could at least have one person he could trust with him. He would never admit to it, well not at the moment at least, considering that part that he was still highly insulted and angry, but she made him feel safe, and he had missed her the past two days she wasn't in his company. He pushed the thoughts aside, trying to prep himself to put on his big boy pants for what was awaiting him on the other side of the doors to the bar…


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay, wow wow wow! He said what now?" Lanie practically shouted out, completely and utterly surprised from the new, news she was receiving.

Kate felt so embarrassed telling Lanie the secret, the lie she had been keeping for the past couple of months. She could feel the heat rising up in her face, she looked down to hide the blush that was seeping threw her skin.

"Yeah.. I probably should have told you earlier…" Kate said guiltily.

"Yeah! Ya think! That is one hell of a secret you've been keeping." Lanie said eye browse raised, still taking in everything.

"Well now I don't know what to do, I mean he knows that knew, but we haven't actually TALKED about it." putting emphasis on the word talked, recalling the fact that they were basically yelling the whole time. She took in a deep breath "The fight was pretty bad." She shook her head, thinking back to the night it all happened.

"Your not kidding! I thought me and Javi's fights were bad, but damn! You guys take the cake." The ME joked trying to lighten the mood, seeing that her best friend was having a hard time talking about this.

Kate chuckled "Yeah, don't remind me." She smiled, but then her smile faded, she looked up to make eye contact with the ME.

"Lanie I don't want to lose him" A tear trickling down her face.

"Honey, do you really think you're going to lose Richard Castle? The man has been following you around for what, four years now?"

"But what if he's done following me around." This is what Kate's been so scared of all along, losing the man she loves, letting him leave; but she doesn't know what to do to fix everything she has done.

"Lanie I've never felt this way about anyone before." She admitted, looking down, playing with her fingers nervously. She hated admitting her feelings, but right now, she needed to.

"I know, and that's why you need to go fight for your man!" She said, trying to reassure her that she could still get Castle back…

Castle walked into the bar, smoke smothering into his lungs and all around his face, making him swat at the air with his hand a little to try and free himself from the deadly fog.

He could see Detective Slaughter walking up to a man about 5'9, coal colored hair, slicked back making the lights shimmer off of it, giving his hair a sleek look, almost shiny. He had a couple of tattoos leading up his neck, stopping right at his jaw line, He was covered in them everywhere but his face, at least from what he could see. The man was wearing a faded black leather jacket, ripped jeans with grease stains upon them.

This bar was definitely not Rick's forte. In fact, he'd rather be anywhere else but there at that moment. Leading his mind to drift back to Kate again, thinking about being at the safe precinct with her, drinking coffee, their coffee that they shared every morning, anywhere else then with some grubby looking bikers, that were 'most likely' in some type of gang; But at the same time his curious mind had the best of him, he wanted to know what these guys had to do with the case and how Slaughter knew them, so he made his feet move to approach the men.

His entrance to the conversation didn't go unnoticed as the main man stopped mid sentence and faced Castle.

"Wow who's this bozo?" The guy said with a thick New York accent.

"Oh yeah, this is Rick, Rick Castle, supposedly some big time writer, he's following me around for some research." Slaughter said not giving a care in the world that Rick was standing right there.

A man that was sitting along the bar with blond hair and smokey eyes joined in on the little chat they were having.

"Hey I know who you are! You write those Nikki…" He snapped his fingers trying to remember the name of his well known books.

"Nikki Heat" Castle told him with a smile.

"YEAH! That's the one!" The guys said pointing at Rick "Yeah my wife reads those books, she loves them."

Castle smiled to himself, thinking if Kate were there, she would have told the guy not to boost up his ego anymore then it already was.

"Your wife has good taste" Rick said trying to joke, feeling everybody's eyes on him, thankfully the man laughed a went back to his drink listening to Slaughter and the man with the slicked hair start talking again.

"Jack you mind telling me why I found my partner dead this morning?" Slaughter shot out, seemed to have come from left field, seeming everything was calmer when Rick first appeared in on the conversation.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jack questioned angrily, not seeming to know where this was coming from.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me!" Slaughter stepped closer to Jack, completely in his personal space now.

"Why don't you get out of my face before me and my boys have a reason to take you and your writer here, outside!" Jack pushed his face closer to Slaughter as a warning.

Castle gulped "Hey fella's I don't want to get into the middle of this." he tried saying without sounding like a complete puss.

"SHUT UP" both Jack and Slaughter hollered out at him.

"Okay, never mind then" Castle said sarcastically.

"What business have you been doing with him recently?" Slaughter questioned Jack not stepping back at all.

"NON of yours" Jack said finally and pushed Slaughter to back off of him. At that Slaughter pushed back. Castle tried to stop the events from turning into anything more.

He stepped in between them "You guys take it eas-" Before he could finish a punch blew to his face knocking him back into the bar. When he tried to make sense of what just happened to him, he saw Jack (the guy who had punch him) getting punched by Slaughter.

'_isn't this guy a cop?'_ Castle thought to himself as he held his already swelling cheek. This action caused a full on bar fight to occur. Castle tried to sneak out of the bar, when all of a sudden he felt a slash of wind blow by his face, watching as a fist passed by the corner of his eye, just missing him. He turned around facing one of the random guys in the bar (probably drunk) try to get back to fight position. Before the guy could try a punch Castle again, Rick tackled him into one of the tables of the bar, not chancing getting hit again. The table toppled over causing him to fall onto the drunken fool. Castle rouse from his feet, seeing as the man was not conscious anymore, he must have knocked the guys head into something, because he was sleeping like a baby.

"Castle! LET'S GET THE HELL OUTA HERE!" He heard Slaughter yelling from across the room, as in one hand was a broken beer bottle.

Rick didn't hesitate one second, he was out the door of the bar before he could count to three. When Slaughter came out right behind him, Rick turned to face him arms in the air, moving with anger.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" He yelled at Slaughter.

"I warned you!" that's all Slaughter said before he headed towards his car.

"You told me not to say anything stupid!" Rick pointed out furry gushing threw his veins.

"For once I listen! And you start a damn bar fight? I thought you were suppose to be a cop!" Castle said adrenaline still running up his body.

"Hey man! You're the one who wanted to come with me! I told you I get things done differently, if you don't like it you can walk back to the precinct!" Slaughter threatened.

'_no thank you'_ Rick thought to himself checking his surroundings. Rather not stay here. So he got into Slaughters car with out a word.


	6. Chapter 6

Kate made it back to the precinct going over some information Ryan and Esposito had found about one of the suspects they were about to go get to bring into questioning, when Castle and Slaughter walked in from the elevator.

"Okay so this guy is an officer?" Kate asked Espo confused as to what another officer had to do with the already dead detective they were investigating.

"From what his record says yes." Esposito said eyes on the file in his hand, he looked up though because Ryan nudged his arm with his elbow.

"What man?" Espo said rubbing his arm, but then he saw Castle making his way toward them, a nasty bruise on the left side of his face. Making Beckett turn around to see what they were looking at.

She immediately saw his swelling cheek.

"What the hell happened to you Castle?" She said anger just at the rim of her voice but also worry.

"Oh nothing too bad, just a little bar fight that's all." Castle said trying to smile, causing him to groan a little, from the pain of his throbbing face.

"Nothing too bad?" She nearly yelled sarcasm on her words.

"Rick your face is cut up with bruises, why were you in a bar fight, you were with Slaughter?"

'_SLAUGHTER'_ Kate thought to herself.

"Why the hell is my partner getting into bar fights, you guys are suppose to be investigating people not acting like children!" Now she was yelling.

"Wow lady, you need to calm down, Okay!" Slaughter said, clearly not understanding why she was so angry.

"Calm down? Calm down! I didn't even know Castle was with you and now he's coming back here injured? What happened!" Kate was anything but calm at this point.

Castle studied Beckett as he always does, but now he noticed that she was honestly and thoroughly concerned for his safety and it made him happy to know she actually cared.

"Look I'm sorry that I got your boyfriend here hurt, it was my fault." Slaughter said a little mocking, knowing they weren't actually going out.

"We're not dating" Castle came in again, rubbing his cheek, looking at the ground.

Kate flickered her eyes to Castle but then back to Slaughter, masking her face with the guilt that fell over her. _'we should be dating'_ Kate grew annoyed with herself. She shook off the fact that they just brought up the subject of them dating and went on questioning Slaughter.

"How did this happen then, cause last time I checked you're suppose to be a cop?" She said glaring at him with fiery eyes.

"Yeah supposedly the best, from what Gate's says" Esposito butted in attitude and sarcasm in his voice, not liking Slaughter just as much as Beckett. It was one thing for Beckett to be annoyed with the guy because he was running things but a completely different thing when he's disrespecting her, no that doesn't slide with him.

"Hey I am one of the bests" Slaughter shot back growing annoyed with their accusations.

"Yeah clearly, getting into bar fights really shows how professional you are." Kate insulted him.

"Detective you don't know what you're talking about!" He yelled stepping closer to her and pointing a finger in her face.

"Wow BRO!" Espo stepped in front of Beckett, as if protecting her. "Don't be disrespecting my friend here like that, alright!" He said furry rising from within.

At this point Castle has lifted his head not liking how Slaughter was talking to Beckett either.

"Yeah man, don't talk to her like that" Castle said putting his hand on Slaughter shoulder to bring him back from Beckett and Esposito.

"Oh look the boyfriend to save the damsel in distress" Slaughter pulled away from Castle arm.

"I already said it was my fault, what else do you want me to do?" Slaughter asked irritated.

"I want you off my damn case!" Beckett stormed off into the break room.

Slaughter just laughed and walked off towards the Captains office.

"Oh great" Ryan said watching Slaughter complain to Gate's, probably about Kate.

"Now we're all in for a treat." Castle said rolling his eyes advancing towards the break room to see if Kate was alright.

When he came into the room he saw her angrily pressing the buttons to the espresso machine. Castle smiled a faint grin to himself. '_Still hardly knows how to use it' _he thought to himself, loving when she was angry, as long as not angry at him. She was always so cute. He tiptoed towards her and putting his hand over the coffee mug that was already in her hand.

"Here let me get that" His hand over hers holding the cold mug.

"Castle I'm fine, I got it" Annoyance shinning in her voice.

Castle wasn't letting go though, his hand still upon hers, his hands forming into hers. His warmth melting Kate's entire body.

"Just let me" He tried again, tugging a little at the mug that was holding their hands together.

Kate puffed out, warm air flew from her lips. "Fine" She let him take hold of the coffee cup, slumping her shoulders over in defeat.

Castle smirked at the fact that she actually let him take over for once, but let it drop from his face before she could see. Once he was finished making them both their coffee, he handed hers to her.

"Are you alright?" Castle finally said watching her looking over to Gate's office.

"What made you think to follow along with Detective Slaughter"

Kate seemed annoyed with the fact that he didn't even seem to think to tell her what he was doing.

"I uh, well I figured you didn't want me to bother you, so I just thought.. I thought" He tried finding his words, scared to upset her, though he was still mad with her.

"You though…?" Kate tried to make him continue.

"I thought it would be fun following around Slaughter, see how he gets work done."

"What, one detective isn't enough for you now?" She question him an eyebrow up.

"No. no! It's just I uh, just never mind." He took a sip of his coffee trying to recoup from making himself sound anymore stupid than he already did.

"If it helps, I don't like following him as much as I like following you" He said with a charming smile.

Kate rolled her eyes, trying to fight back the little grin that swept across her face, failing miserably.

"Yeah yeah, I bet." she jokingly shaking her head.

"You know it's true" Rick said with a little too much meaning.

Kate looked at his eyes that were filled with pure love and then took a sip of coffee and looked away, couldn't stand starring into his eyes any longer, knowing she'd done him wrong. _'god do I love this man, some kind of crazy'_ she thought to herself.

Rick was disappointed that she broke their eye contact, actually pretty upset. Here he is trying to forgive her for nearly breaking his heart, poring his soul into her eyes and she's denying him.

He huffed as if a cold laugh were to come out of him. Kate looked up curious to why he made the noise.

"What?" She said tilting her head.

"Nothing" That's all he said before strutting out the door….

**Hope you kiddies are enjoying! Please leave reviews and such THANK YOU! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

Kate followed him out of the break room, catching up to him right when he got into the elevator, she jumped in it right before the doors closed.

"Why did you just storm out of there?" She said as she pushed the emergency break button for the elevator to stop, she placed her hands on her hips and faced him.

Rick watched as she did so and grew annoyed.

"What are you doing? Stop messing around!" He reached for the button to undo the emergency break, but Beckett swatted his hand away.

"Cut it out Beckett!" He reached for the button again growing agitated, this wasn't some type of joke this was his emotions and he didn't want to share them with her at the moment.

When he went to press the red button she held his hand restricting him from it.

"Not until you tell me what that was about back there!" She insisted.

He pulled his hand away from hers forcefully.

"Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter anymore." He looked to his left staring at the elevator wall, anywhere but her face.

Kate noticed his eyes were beginning to swell a little, turning them just a tad red.

"Rick please just talk to me." She said stepping a little closer to him.

"WHY! Why should I Kate, there is no point, you know how I feel about you, I don't want to talk about this right now!" He shouted at her as he slammed his hand on the break button making the beeping sound go off telling them it has been released.

The doors to the elevator opened before Kate could say anything, and Rick bolted out of there before she could even think of what to say. She stood there, just dazing at him not able to move; too much was just thrown at her to think clearly enough to even walk. Her legs felt molted into the ground. Her vision started to get blurry making it hard for her to see him. She knew for a fact that he didn't look back though, before she could step out of the elevator to even attempt to chase him, the doors slid shut, leaving her there feeling like a broken record.

Rick slammed the door to his loft aiming straight for the liquor cabinet, hoping to god no one was home to bother him. Just as he opened the wooden doors to his much needed drink he heard foot steps coming down the stairs. He closed his eyes and put his head against the cabinet.

"Richard…Is that you?"

He huffed something under his breath to himself, then turned around to face her with the fakest smile on his face.

"Mother I didn't think you'd be home, thought you'd be down at the theatre writing for your new show."

"Honey!" She rushed up to him and took his swollen cheek into her hand "What happened to you, did you finally get your ass handed to you by Beckett" She joked but still seemed worried.

"Funny but no, I got into a little bar fight, nothing to worry about mother."

"Get some ice on it, what were you doing in a bar fight Richard?"

"Research" Was all he said.

Hmmm, well I took the day off today" She said as she went to make a drink for herself. "Is everything alright, darling, from the sound of your entrance I'm guessing you could use a drink" She started pouring both of them a glass of scotch.

"A drink would be great, thank you mother." He said as he took the glass from her, already downing it.

"Wow kiddo, take it easy! You're starting to look like me" Surprised at his ambition to drink.

"Ha ha, very funny, I don't think I could drink like you if I tried" He joked back, not wanting to talk about his current drama of the day.

"Hmmm, well I've known you long enough to know there's only one person that gets you this upset besides me." Martha took a sip of her drink and went to sit down on the couch.

"Come sit down, lets talk." She patted down a spot beside her on the black leather.

Rick debated whether he should just try to break away to his study or walk over to his dramatic mother, he decided it's probably best to get some steam out, so he moped over to the couch and plopped down beside her, Not entirely ready to get into this conversation; it didn't look like he had much of a choice when it came to his mother though, so he sucked it up.

"Now what's got you all riled up?" She put a hand on his shoulder, as if to comfort him.

"Mother I have never met a women so stubborn before in my whole entire life." He started off with that, taking in all the annoyance, anger and heart break that was within his body.

"The girl really knows how to play with a mans heart." He took a giant gulp of the liquid calling his name, already on his second drink, seeing no point in holding back.

"I'm guessing we're talking about Beckett here?" She said already knowing the answer.

Rick just nodded, staring blankly at the wood floor beneath his feet.

Martha nodded "Hm, well she is known for such actions with you, Richard. What happened?"

Rick shook his head, letting out a cold chuckle as he spoke "It's like she doesn't even care mother, how can someone I….I care about so much, just brush me off her shoulder like what I said doesn't even matter!"

Martha was troubled at what he was saying.

"What did you tell her darling?"

Castle took in a deep breath "She remembered the shooting." That's all he needed to say, he knew his mother knew about how he had told Beckett how he felt about her.

"Oh honey!" She put her arm around him drawing him into a hug. "I'm so sorry" They stayed there for only a moment before she began to get nosey.

"How did you find out?"

"I came over her apartment the other night to go over a case with her, I brought some wine and take out, thinking hey why not make a mini date out of it?" He shook his head to himself realizing how naive he has been.

"After about an hour we got into a pretty austere conversation about her shooting, she ended up admitting to remembering everything, telling me she had been lying to me since the hospital about not know what I had said." His jaw tensed thinking back to the fight that grew from that.

"What happened after that?" Martha finally said taking him out of his thoughts.

"I was mortified, I couldn't believe she'd keep something so sententious from me, we ended up getting into a pretty heated argument, fight whatever, just the hole nine yards."

"When was this, today?"

"No that was about two days ago." Rick pored another glass of scotch, filling his mothers in the process.

"Then why did you go into the precinct today?" Martha was confused, why would her son waste his time coming into the 12th when she was the one who hurt him?

Rick didn't want to admit to his mother the real reason he had come into the precinct today, he was ashamed enough already, didn't need another person to feel pity for him.

"It's…it's.. dumb." That's all he said before downing his whole drink with one chug.

"Hmm, that dumb" Martha said accusingly, seeing he didn't want to reveal anymore, she chose that time to go back up to her room.

"Well kiddo, I hope you two work things out, god only knows you kids disserve it, I'm gunna' get some beauty sleep, although I surely DON'T need it" she sarcastically stated as she put her drink down on the table.

"Here drink the rest of mine, I'm sure it will come to good use" She gave Richard a surprisingly heart warming kiss on the cheek and disappeared upstairs, leaving Rick speechless at his mothers gesture. He took the rest of his mothers drink into his mouth, swished it around and then swallowed. He got up and made his way to his bedroom not wanting to think about anything anymore, he forced himself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Kate didn't even bother to call Castle, figured from yesterday he didn't want to talk to her. It had been slow all day, all of their leads that they found from last night, all fell through. She was mopping around wishing Castle was there to make some witty remark about how Slaughter hasn't been in the precinct all day, probably off being a "tough guy". She smiled to herself but the smile fell, remembering the fact that Castle pretty much hated her at the moment.

"Hey Beckett we're about to head out for some drinks, you coming?" Ryan startled Kate out of her deep thought process, about her very missed partner.

"Umm, Yeah." She getting up slowly, staring into space, still in a fog of her own mind.

"She was just about to head out of the precinct with Esposito and Ryan, when all of sudden Slaughter comes barging in with a guy handcuffed, pushing him through to the interrogation room.

"Keep moving!" Slaughter yelled to the man who was obviously going too slow for his liking.

"How the hell?…." Beckett said as she followed Slaughter and the man.

She knocked on the door to interrogation room two that had just been obnoxiously slammed by Slaughter, she swung it open after a moment.

"Slaughter, can I have a word?" She asked, annoyance written all over her face.

"Can't this wait Detective?" Slaughter didn't even turn to face her, his eyes seemed to be focused on his suspect.

"A matter a fact, No it can't." Kate walked out of the room and into the observation room, loud tapping of her heels hitting the floor each step as she walked away, she didn't even bother to close the door to where Slaughter was assuming he would follow. And she was right he did.

Slaughter rolled his eyes and excused himself.

"I'm coming back for you!" He threatened to the not very amused man.

The detective made his way to the viewing room. Ticked off the fact that he was being interrupted on his interrogation before he could even begin.

"Detective this better be important!" He rudely said as he tapped his foot waiting for her to start talking.

"Didn't Gate's talk to you about going off on this investigation without us, from yesterdays incident. Because the last time I check you aren't suppose to go anywhere unless we're with you!" Beckett was infuriated, not only at Slaughter, but also herself, and it was much easier taking it out on him then her.

"Sorry sweet heart I follow my own rules, I told you twice already this is my investigation and I will tell you again!"

Beckett glared at him, crossing her arms trying to fight back the urge to knock this guy out. "Who is in that room. Why did you bring him in?"

Slaughter didn't want to give away such information knowing she would question it but at this point, he was too angry to care.

"His name is Jack Bambino, Dr. Parish found his prints on my partners body late last night, after running some tests; you would have known if you weren't so wrapped up with yourself" Slaughter practically snarled the last words of his sentence.

Kate thought back to last night how much of a mess she was, tripping over her own feet, attempting not to cry in front of the whole precinct. She had tried to erase the pain from her head to get through the case, trying so hard to block the dejected and furious look across his face. How could she had done this to him, he deserved so much more than her. _get yourself together Kate, you can't break down in front of this douche._ she backed out of her thoughts and got into the conversation again.

"Next time you go somewhere tell us, clearly you can't trusted" she growled.

Slaughter let out an amused laugh "Detective I don't think you'll need to be worrying about that, seems to me I've got my guy."

"Yes well, have fun with that." She spit out sarcastic as ever, bumping her shoulder passed him as she carried herself angrily out the room.

A half and hour later Slaughter came out of the interrogation room, Kate could tell by the look on his face that they had finally found their guy. She cursed to herself, frustrated knowing he had won the battle. At the same time relief hit her, knowing now that the case was over. She just wanted to head home and take a hot bath, but knew other things needed to be taken care of first.

Slaughter smiled at Beckett with a cocky grin that reminded her of Castle when he had first started following her, of course it was ruggedly handsome on Castle, though she would never admit that's what she thought, even now.

He passed by her desk going straight to Gate's office. Beckett rolled her eyes, boy did she not like this guy.

"Yo, Beckett" Espo called from his desk with a smug grin.

"Hmm" Was all she responded with.

"Looks like we aren't going to have to deal with Detective. Mc Ass anymore."

That got a laugh out of Kate, how she loved her team.

"I hope so." She said as she took a sip of her coffee, hold the phone, she never got coffee. She studied at the paper cup that held the delicious warmth in her hand. Confusion written all over her features. Ryan noticed her look.

"Oh yeah Castle stopped by a few minutes ago, while you were in the observation room, he said something about needing to talk to you." Ryan said not knowing what exactly was going on between them

Beckett felt her heart beat quicken, damn why did I have to get noisy on that creeps interrogation she mentally slapped herself. She would have been able to catch Castle if she didn't get up during filling out some paperwork and go see how everything was going with Slaughters guy.

"Thanks." Was all Beckett said before she shot up from her seat. "Guy's I think I'm going to head out, call me if you need anything."

"Gotcha' boss" Esposito said as he turned to talk to Ryan about something.

Kate pulled on her jacket growing nervous, she didn't know if she should call him or just go to his apartment. She grabbed her coffee and made her way to wherever she was going.

Not to her surprise she landed right on Rick's door step, hesitating on knocking, still not knowing exactly what to say. She sucked it up and just knocked, the softest knock she has ever done before. Her being a police officer and all, she normally banged on doors, yelling through them 'NYPD' like a mad man; but now that she was about to open up a whole big can of worms that have needed to be opened since, god knows how long, she's not as confident.

The sound of the locks being undone from behind the door, turned her stomach. She was about to fall apart right in front of him, and she couldn't do anything about it. The door slowly opened, not normal for the Castle house, she's used to Rick swinging the door open with a warm smile present on his face.

Right now was the complete opposite, he was opening the door slowly like his life had been drained from him, and he was just a body now. His face was what really tugged at Kate's heart, he looked broken, forget broken he looked crushed, smashed to pieces. Has he been crying?

She could see the bags under his eyes and the red rim of them.

"Rick" She practically whispered, in shock of what she was seeing, this wasn't Richard Castle? No this was a heart broken, depressed, lifeless man.

"I see you got my coffee." He said nodding to the not completely empty cup of delectable Vanilla love in her trembling hands.

"Yeah" She said, holding the cup with two hands now, looking down at it.

"Are we going to talk or just yell at each other, because if you're planning on fighting with me about this I don't.." Kate cut him off.

"I'm here to talk Rick" She wanted him to know she was serious, she wasn't about to ruin their 'relationship' anymore than she already has.

Rick nodded, opening to the door fully, granting her access to enter. Kate walked in shyly passing him as she did. He guided them to the couch, figuring this would be a long conversation after all. Kate took a deep breath, forcing all her walls to come down, hoping they would stay crumbled once the conversation was over.

**I know I went like off the case and everything but what can you do? I hope you're still enjoying this story, even though I've started writing a new fanfic on the '47 seconds' episode thing It's called Underestimating Jealousy, check that out if you'd like. Anyway please Review, let me know what you're thinking of this please! Lol okay thank you.**


	9. Chapter 9

"I don't deserve you." Was the first thing that came out of Kate's mouth to begin this healing conversation.

Rick looked at her confused, his eye brows bunched together as much as they could without hurting his bruised face; he did not expect her to say something like that. He was still more than angry with her, but he didn't agree with her statement. He was about to object to what she had said, but she continued.

"You deserve so much more then me Rick… I don't understand why you stick around, I lied to you, I'm selfish, I break your heart and I don't even have the decency to tell you how I really feel." Kate was fidgeting with her fingers, she was so nervous and scared, all of it making her want to throw up but she pulls through that feeling, she cant pull herself up to meet his eyes though.

Rick cleared his throat

"And how do you really feel?" he said, his posture up right, his face turned to her with his hands in his lap, with facial features completely stone.

Kate cursed herself for bringing up her feelings right away because now she was stuck with facing them, facing him.

"I… it's, complicated." She closed her eyes, knowing that was no excuse, she knew how she felt for him, but she just couldn't grow a pair to actually confess it to him.

Castle almost wanted to laugh out loud, how ironic is it that she calls their situation complicated to. He's also beginning to get impatient, how can she still not just tell him how she feels, it's either she loves me or she… doesn't. He didn't like to think of the other option, because if she didn't love him back, he doesn't know what he would do.

"If you know how you feel, don't sit here and waste my time anymore Kate." Rick was sick of waiting, that's all he's been doing for the past four years, it was time for them to either jump into this thing, or just… let it go, let _them _go.

"Rick you know it's hard for me." She tried to explain that to him before but he wasn't having it this time.

"What! Did you think it was easy for _me_ Kate?" His volume rose just a tad, still trying to keep it a conversation, not wanting to change it into a fight again.

"I know…. I know.." Kate shook her head. She felt so little compared to him, she had been in the wrong this whole time, and it was killing her. She just wanted it all to be fixed; didn't want to have to pore her heart out at this moment, but she has no other choice, it's either tell him now or lose him; and the second choice wasn't even an option in her head, she would not chance losing him.

"Rick, you mean so much to me. I feel sick to my stomach, the fact that I have been so cruel to you." A tear trickled down her left cheek.

"You never did anything to me to deserve the mistreatment of this summer. I needed space, but to just kick you out of my life for three months was inexcusable." She shook her head a smile of hatred at her own stupidity and selfishness forming on her lips.

She turned to face him "I missed you every single day of it, of the summer." Kate said tears starting to pore out now.

Rick turned to her now, he heard the sorrow and heartbreak in her voice, it was breaking his heart as well.

"when I saw you again at the book signing it almost broke my heart to think… that you can love me…as much as I love You." She looked at him with so much love, pleading for forgiveness.

Rick's heart dropped, skipping a beat.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" His voice was raw, from the tears that were about to form.

"I was scared."

"Scared of what Kate? I had told you that I loved you, all you had to do was say the same?" He was so taken back by the fact that she actually loved him back, he couldn't help the little hope he had left for them.

"At the time I didn't even know if what you said you had meant Rick, I mean I was dying in your arms, for all I knew you could have said it out of pure fear and instinct, thinking it was the right thing to say." Kate said swiping away the tears falling from her eyes.

Rick never thought of it that way, he looked down at his hands, now he was fidgeting like a fool.

"Kate.. Of course I meant what I said, the only reason why I said it then, is because…I didn't know if I would get another chance, to tell you how I felt." His eyes were shimmering from the dim lights of his loft, as he looked up to Beckett. He hated to think back to the fact that Kate had nearly died.

"Kate you got shot right in front of me, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop that bullet from hitting you, I tried everything in my power for it to be me, instead of-"

"RICK! how can you say that? I can't believe you can be so selfish to your family, and you do NOT get to apologize for me getting shot Castle, you were **not** the son of a bitch who pulled that trigger, alright! you tried your best to jump in front of that bullet, as if your life didn't even matter? Rick for god sake you have a daughter. If it had been the other way around not only would your family be crushed, but I would never forgive myself." More tears fell from her eyes, she was trying to get a hold of herself, but how can she when this man in front of her would die for her, as if he meant nothing to the world, as if he meant nothing to her.

"Rick, I love you. And I am so sorry for lying to you. But you do not get to blame yourself for what happened that day do you understand me." Kate's voice was shaky, but still stern, as if a mother talking down to her child.

"Kate if I had never pushed you on your mothers case, this would have never happened, you would have never been…shot."

"No.. Castle that is not true!"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY IT'S NOT TRUE KATE! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT WANT YOU DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT WILL KILL YOU IF YOU CONTINUE YOUR MOTHERS CASE AND IT'S IN MY POWER THAT YOU DON'T, can't you see that Kate? CAN'T YOU!" Castle was shaking, tears drenching his face. His hands were trembling, fear, anger, love, devotion, pacing through his body.

What Castle had just said didn't go missed by Kate, she was startled and confused, and frustrated and just wanted to hug this blubbering baby that she loved so much that was sitting beside her, trying to keep himself together, failing miserably as he was clearly in need to just break down.

So Kate pushed aside any wall that was left between them and put her arms around Rick, bringing him into the most comforting hug she could. His head laid upon her collar bone, she could feel his tears, dampening her shirt. She didn't mind as long as she could hold him and bring him some sort of support.

Castle was grateful that she was consoling him, he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and pulled her in for more warmth and solacement. He hated the fact that he was crying like a girl in front of her, but he couldn't help it. There was so much worry and hurt inside of him, that he just couldn't hold back anymore. He could feel her fingers stroking through him hair, he wanted to just fall asleep in her arms at that moment, but then he felt her tugging him a little so his face was off of her shirt and now facing her.

"Castle what were you talking about when you said, **it's in your power that they don't**?" He could see the inquisitive in her eyes.

He wanted to get knocked out by someone right now, literally punched square in the face, because he knew that, that would hurt less than having to tell her. It would keep him so he didn't have to answer that question, he wanted to run threw a window so he didn't have to face the fact that he has been keeping his own dirty secret as well. _It's like a ticking time bomb_ was all that was running threw his mind.

**I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful Reviews and following of my story! I really appreciate it! You guys are awesome! Hope you guys fancy this Chapter! THANK YOU AGAIN AND READ ON!**


	10. Chapter 10

Kate could see the fear that washed over his blue orbs when she asked, it made her grow wary. So many questions rushing through her mind, she had no idea where to start. His hands fell from her waist and rubbed over his face, as if to knock himself awake. He started to shake his head his hands still covering his face.

"Kate you can't run off on me when I tell you, can you promise me that?" He asked so hopeful that she would agree to his plead.

Something tightened in Kate's stomach, a disturbing knot formed in her center, like her own body was warning her of what's to come. It frightened her; could what he is keeping be so awful that he thinks she will flee the scene?

"Rick what's going on, what did you do." When she questioned him as to what he did his face dropped with sorrow. Making Kate panic.

"Castle what did you do!" Her voice grew louder, beseeching to know the answer.

Rick can't believe he is actually going to tell her what he has been doing for the past seven months behind her back, what will she think, how will she react, will she ever forgive him? It made him grow nauseous, the conception that tonight can very well be the last night he will ever see her again. Rick put his hand upon Kate's to try and calm her down. She was already freaking out and had no idea what was to come.

"Kate do you trust me?" Rick's eyes bore into hers.

She rolled her eyes at his ludicrous question, of course she trusted him. He was after all her partner.

"Castle what's that-"

"Do you trust me?" He asked again, not letting her try and push past the question.

Her eye's examined his, trying to figure out why in gods name he had to ask such a thing.

"Castle of course I trust you?" Her tone heartfelt, which just ended up breaking Rick's heart a little. She trusts him so much and he has been going behind her back this whole time. He's supposed to be her partner, her friend, her…

"I need to show you something." His voice stayed heavy with affection.

Rick rouse from the couch. Once he was standing he put his hand out to help Kate up, she took it dubiously not sure where he was taking her. Rick maneuvered her over to his office that held the murder board with all the material about her shooting and her mother's case. Finally in the office he led her to one of the chairs that faced the board. He walked over to his desk that contained the diminutive remote, that controlled the device that would change everything. He eyed the plastic figure in his hand, so much disturbance plastered across his features.

_What if she never forgives me?_

Kept on crossing Rick's ambivalent mind, eating away at any hope he has at having any type of future with her. He turned to her on that thought.

"Now before you see this please just keep in mind that I did this for your safety." His puppy dog eyes melted her.

"Rick-" She faltered, but he cut her off anyway.

"Kate just please." He closed his eyes, letting a breath of doubt gush out of him. His grip on the remote tightening as his nerves get the best of him. "Keep that in mind." He finally finishes off with one last breath of air, opening his eyes looking into Kate's with such hope it made her shiver.

"Okay, I'll keep it in mind." Her voice was soft, full with comfort. She could sense the worry in Castle and just wanted to make him feel a little bit more at ease about the situation. Funny she's trying to comfort him when he's the one that has been keeping something from her. Obviously whatever it is has to be disastrous enough for him to actually doubt that she will forgive him.

Rick turned back to the board his hand around the remote in a tremor hold. His finger pressed the button after a moment of hesitation. The screen lit up an almost sickening light to Rick as he watched Kate's expression change from confused to shock to nihilism. She shook her head as her eyes began to fog up from tears.

"Rick what the hell is this?" She put her hand over her open mouth to cover her disbelieving face.

Rick stepped closer to Kate attempting to reach out and relax her but she retreated from him.

"No Rick, you tell me right now what exactly I'm looking at cause I sure as hell don't have a damn clue!" She had no conclusion as to why he has a murder board for her shooting, her moms case and hasn't told her about it. They were suppose to do this together, he even said so. Why would he keep this from her?

"Kate I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you." He said trying to come towards her again. Kate shook her head.

"No don't you dare come near me! Rick what the hell."

Tears finally started to come, leaving her enervated and vulnerable. She hated to feel like this but right now she felt her world crumbling before her. Her partner one of the only people she trusts with her whole heart, has been keeping such horrid information from her, she just can't grasp her mind around what's occurring.

He takes another step closing her off from any escape, because he knows she will take it if she has the chance.

"Kate-" His voice holds so much pain and care in it she wants to fold over right there.

"No Castle! No!" She pushes his chest causing him only to shift a little.

"Kate just listen to me!" He tries to move back towards her, but she pushes again, when she notices pushing isn't working she starts to hit his chest each blow growing firmer. He struggles at grabbing her hands to cease her frenzied attack, his hands take her fists in his finally. He brings her into him, making her muscles slump over in defeat. She lets him hold her, as she starts to sob an incredible amount of tears. Falling into his chest for much needed comfort, giving up on trying to fight him.

"Shhh.. Shh.. I'm so sorry Kate." Rick whispers into her ear, stroking his hand over her hair to sooth her sobbing away. Her grasp on his shirt doesn't loosen as her face stays buried into his solid chest. So much love is between both of them for each other, neither of them know how they're going to start this conversation, all Kate knows is Rick better have a good explanation as to why he's been going behind her back.

**I haven't written on this story in a while and I kind of missed it, so here you go, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Tell me what you think, review please 3 **


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